THE FLOCK CAN'T EAT CHICKEN!
by nudge-potter
Summary: There are FLYING POTATOES, mean Fang, peacock Nudge, and MAX THROWING VARIOUS THINGS WHEN SHE IS MAD!I am not responsible for any brain cell loss in the process. very minor swearing, some violence. Previously "Angel the Cannibal" but I changed it. READ IT


**Heyy. I'm back, this time with a new story. While reading this, you must remember it's 3 in the morning (my most creative time) and I've had 6 and a half Mountain Dews. So, if you plan on reviewing to tell me there is no point whatsoever to this, I will agree. There is meant to be no point. Fang is extremly out of character, and I made him that way. Also, this is a one-shot, and will remain so, unless I get over 500 reviews, which is highly improbable, because I know no one who has. On with it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, KFC, or a chicken. I wish I had the chicken though, because then I would name it Juan (pronounced Who-awn) :]**

Normally, potatoes don't fly. I don't normally want to kill Fang either. This is a story of both. Yes, that's right. This is the story about the infamous flying potatoes.

Lately, Angel has been moody. She's always been such a good little girl, obeying rules, fighting robots and such. I guess saving the world can take it out of a seven year old girl though. So when we went to KFC, grabbed some chicken, potatoes, and soda, and sat in a tree to eat it, she was quiet and sulky. Fang (who was totally being un-Fangish) decided to tease her.

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you." He warned Angel nonchalantly as she went to put some chicken in her mouth. She pulled back and looked at it.

"Why? What did you do to it?" Living with three boys (one with serious digestive problems) had taught her to question anything she consumed. Fang shrugged.

"I just wouldn't eat it if I were you. It might be your brother." Three things happened at that moment. 1) Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy and I stopped and stared in shock at Fang. What was with him? 2) Angel shrieked, dropped the chicken to Total, and started sobbing, and 3) Total grabbed the dropped chicken, and scarfed it down.

Taking Angel and pulling her into my lap, I glared at Fang. Seriously! Why would he make Angel upset on purpose? I rocked her back and forth, hugging her close like a baby.

"What?" He asked, seeing the look I gave him. If looks could kill, he would have been dead years ago. And this look would have brought him back to kill him again.

"There's no reason to be upset. Fang is totally wrong." Iggy stated "Because first of all, chickens don't fly. So Angel would have been a ground bird mutant, as opposed to a flying bird mutant. Also, chickens don't have pure white wings. So obviously not." This didn't make Angel feel any better at all, and she began bawling her eyes out more.

"Yeah. Besides, Angel is probably a dove, or a swan or something pretty like that." Gazzy said, trying to reassure his little sister.

"Oh! Oh! Can I be a peacock? They are so colorful and bright! But do they fly? I don't even think they do. **(A/N Yes, they do. I just looked it up :)** But I still like them. I couldn't be a peacock though, because my wings are brown." Nudge said. Soon, she and Iggy were loudly discussing the flying habits of peacocks, Gazzy was taking advantage of our distraction and was reaching for all the food he could find, Total was licking crumbs off his muzzle, and Fang was laughing quietly at the chaos he had created. I was gonna kill him later. Stupid emo bird kid. I rocked Angel more, and her crying finally stopped enough that she could breath.

"Okay Okay!" Fang shouted, and everyone stopped to look at him "Angel, you're not 2% chicken, I promise." _At least he apologized_, I though to my self "Maybe you're more like an ostrich." That was too much. Angel started sobbing her eyes out again, and I felt the familiar feeling of pure rage flood my body. I reached for the closest thing next to me, and hurled it at Fang. The to-go container of mashed potatoes flung against the side of his head with a satisfying _shlop_. For a moment, Angel stopped crying, looking at the potatoes in Fang's hair as if it wasn't real. Nudge and Iggy had stopped talking, and Total and Gazzy had stopped eating. We were all watching Fang.

Slowly, I put a hand up to touch his hair, which was completely covered into the mushy white food.

"What" Fang's voice was even and deadly "The hell was that?" I stood up and balanced on my branch, looking him in the eye.

"That, is potato. It's a starchy crop, often baked, broiled, or mashed. It also happens to be in your hair, in case you didn't know."

"I freaking know what a potato is, and that my head is covered in it! Why did you throw it at me?" He exploded, jumping up on his branch too.

"You were being mean to Angel. You deserved it. Jerk."

"That doesn't mean you start a food fight! Your more mature than that! Or I thought you were!"

"I thought you were too! We're all going through a rough time, and there's no need to be hurtful to Angel!" I yelled back. He scoffed.

"Well then. I'll just be hurtful to you." With that, he grabbed a hunk of potato from his hair, and flung it at me. It splattered all over my face. That-that- that jerk! Outraged I leaped at him.

Tackling him off his branch, we fell through a few layers of branches to the ground (luckily, fang broke my fall). The younger kids and Iggy just watched as I took bunches of potato from his hair and shoved it all over his face. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me off, sending me rolling in the grass below. I jumped up, grabbed a bunch of acorns, and started hurling them at him. he tried dodging them, but I was too good a shot.

"Ow! Stop it! Sorry! I'm sorry!" He yelled after an acorn found it's way to his temple. I threw a few more at him, then stood with my hands on my hips.

"Now you are going to fly right up there and apologize to Angel!" He scowled, spread his wings, and leapt up. Landing on Angel's branch, he turned to her.

"I'm sorry I called you a chicken and an ostrich." He looked at his feet while he said it.

"Now? Do you have anything to say to me?" I asked, sitting myself in the tree.

"I'm sorry you have such good aim?" Another acorn found it's way to a more tender spot.

"OWW! Fine, I'm sorry I threw the potato back at you! Now can I go wash this off?" He whined. I pretended to think for a moment.

"Hmmmmm. No. I think you will survive with a starchy head for one night." He groaned, but sat down. And I can honestly say that he has never called anyone a chicken or ostrich since.

**I told you it was random! I was eating chicken one night for dinner, and my cousin was pretending to be a chicken as he ate it, so I got the idea. Yeah, my whole family is weird. Oh well. Review even if you hate it :] Please? If you don't I will track you down and throw potatoes and acorns at you until you do! Please?**

**~MK~**


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